Mourn the loss, resolve the pain
22 May 2011 Leave a Comment
I have mentioned this before and will mention it many times in the future. You can only resolve your anger through the pain of the primary emotion. More
Wash away anger and anxiety with meditation
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
I know of no other method that is as effective as meditation to reduce stress and anxiety. You just have to be willing to make the time commitment, which is 20 minutes twice a day. There are many forms of meditation but they all have certain things in common. They all teach us how to relax. They all break the day to day buildup of stress and they all teach us how to be in the here and now. More detail below. More
Overcoming reactive anger
19 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
To explore this topic first we would want to define reactive anger. Reactive anger is anger we feel that we have no control over. It just seems to explode out of us. It is like a knee jerk reaction with no thinking involved. Again, as I stated, we feel controlled by it. If we are reactive we generally feel controlled by external stimuli. We believe what is happening around us is controlling our emotions. As we will learn later, this is a co dependent dynamic. More
Responsibility minus shame equals empowerment
28 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
One of the most useful ways of overcoming unresolved anger is by owning up to our own responsibility for our problems. When we do this it actually empowers us by removing the “victim”. More
Commit to nonviolence and change the world
05 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
“There is too much violence in the world”, you say? Well, if that’s how you feel, what are you going to do about it? You may feel you are helpless to change the world, but you are not. The way you will change the world is through the power of your own behavior. More
How to choose your anger
21 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
Do you feel that you have a choice over what to be angry about? I often get a difference of opinion on this question. We will discuss what our options are below. But first let us define anger. Anger is an emotion, not a behavior. If we behave poorly when we are angry, it simply means that we “felt” angry and “behaved” poorly. We want to make sure we separate the behavior from the feeling. They are two separate things. The anger is an emotion and whatever behavior we did as a result of the anger (e.g. cursed, yelled, etc.) is a behavior. More
Learn to self soothe for anger control
31 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
Have you ever been stuck in the middle of a situation which you can’t get away from and your anger is highly triggered. Normally, if we are getting very angry and escalating the best choice in this situation would be to leave, just take a time out so you can calm down. But let’s presume in this situation we can’t leave. We are stuck there. An example might be riding in a car with someone and the other person is driving. Or we are in the middle of a very important meeting with a client. The client is upset but we need to keep our cool.
So how do we calm ourselves down in the moment when the other person is escalating and we are getting caught up in it. The answer is you SELF SOOTHE. More
